I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
