You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
