Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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