Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
