sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
People in love make me want to vomit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
