note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
