she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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