Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
