I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize