No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i dont even know how to be here
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize