let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
