And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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