everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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