Pants 0. Shit 1.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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