Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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