I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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