Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
