When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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