I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
vagina is talking i cant
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize