you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize