Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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