Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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