Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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