dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
