One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
