To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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