Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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