I accidentally had phone sex last night
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
