There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As shirtless as possible
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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