I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
