sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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