I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I am morally bankrupt
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
