Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
