Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm so fucking centered right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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