when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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