Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
