Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
