i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
