the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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