She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
