a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
