There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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