Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
