i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
