ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We just shotgunned beers for America
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
