Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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