Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
