If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
