but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
