I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
