But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
