I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
