Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
