? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
