I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
