I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
