Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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