Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
