Kiss
Puke
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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