wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
