What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
