Kiss
Puke
I smell stomach acid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize