Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
