3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize