omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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